Creative Title

A glimpse into the brain of a writer-momma-nerd.

Happy 4th of July!

Posted by nattya61 on July 15, 2012

Warning: Snarky post ahead. Turn back if you are easily offended because I don’t have time to deal with that crap. There’s also some love in the post too. I don’t hate everyone…close, but not everyone. *wink*

On with the show!

We traveled to Salem earlier this month to celebrate the 4th of July and my dad’s birthday. Nick loves going to visit his grandma and grandpa so much. We even got to see my step-sister Brenda and her two kids Andrew and Dawson.

Nick swimming with Grandpa.

It was a typical Salem visit, complete with swimming, sunburns, bug bites, lots of food, and lots of characters that you don’t see everyday living in Springfield. Sometimes I forget how much Salem really is removed from the rest of the world, especially since my dad and step-mom aren’t your typical Salemites, but taking Nicholas to the parade was a big reminder.

*Snark and bitchiness starting in 3…2…1…

First, everyone in the parade tried to give him hard candy and gum. I just assumed that everyone knew that 3-year-olds are not supposed to have hard candy. It’s a serious choking hazard. Now, we are a little bit more lenient than what is recommended. We do give Nick hotdogs, grapes, and peanut butter sandwiches on occasion, but we watch him very carefully when he eats them. However, you can chew those. You can’t chew hard candy! A friend asked me today how I ever survived, and I answered, “Because my mom knew better.” It seems like no one else in town did. My dad at least asked me first, “Is it ok if he has this?” to which I replied, “Why don’t you just go ahead and choke the kid yourself and give him diabetes while you are at it? No, it’s not ok!” Sheesh.

Below are pictures of the parade and some of the people we saw there.

Nick’s face looked like this throughout the whole parade. He was not impressed.

Yes, people drove lawn mowers in the parade.

Nice to see he dressed up. Maybe that’s his good overalls and cut-up shirt.

Why on earth was there a tow truck in the parade?

Yes, these are golf carts…on a truck…in the parade. What. The. Fuck?

In the background, typical Salem folk. “Clyde, I think summon a might be taken r piktur. Maybe they tink we r purty.”

What you can’t see is the cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Classy!

No words needed.

Aren’t parades supposed to have decorated floats, a theme, some pizazz? Not in Salem.

Scary, isn’t it? How did I ever make it out alive?


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